Helping People Change: Coaching with Compassion for Lifelong Learning and Growth | Richard Boyatzis - Melvin L. Smith - Ellen Van Oosten

You're trying to help--but is it working?

Helping others is a good thing. Often, as a leader, manager, doctor, teacher, or coach, it's central to your job. But even the most well-intentioned efforts to help others can be undermined by a simple truth: We almost always focus on trying to "fix" people, correcting problems or filling the gaps between where they are and where we think they should be. Unfortunately, this doesn't work well, if at all, to inspire sustained learning or positive change.

There's a better way. In this powerful, practical book, emotional intelligence expert Richard Boyatzis and Weatherhead School of Management colleagues Melvin Smith and Ellen Van Oosten present a clear and hopeful message. The way to help someone learn and change, they say, cannot be focused primarily on fixing problems, but instead must connect to that person's positive vision of themselves or an inspiring dream or goal they've long held. This is what great coaches do--they know that people draw energy from their visions and dreams, and that same energy sustains their efforts to change, even through difficult times. In contrast, problem-centered approaches trigger physiological responses that make a person defensive and less open to new ideas.

The authors use rich and moving real-life stories, as well as decades of original research, to show how this distinctively positive mode of coaching―what they call "coaching with compassion"--opens people up to thinking creatively and helps them to learn and grow in meaningful and sustainable ways.

Filled with probing questions and exercises that encourage self-reflection, Helping People Change will forever alter the way all of us think about and practice what we do when we try to help.

Editorial Reviews

Review

"This is a book for school leaders who are serious about building a culture where everyone thrives. The concrete strategies and specific exercises for individuals to undertake to develop their skills make this text more than something to just read. Mastery of the content will change individuals and schools." — School Administrator (AASA, American Association of School Administrators)

"What I really enjoyed about the text was that the incredibly useful information was backed up with content derived from research, as well as literature related to coaching. These supports are presented in a user-friendly way--one that does not require readers to have an uber-advanced degree to understand. Additionally, reflection and application exercises enable readers to apply the content within their daily lives." -- TD magazine (Association for Talent Development)

Advance Praise for Helping People Change:

"At last, a science-based answer to that all-important question, How can I help? Whether you are a teacher, manager, parent, healthcare provider, or coach--from Little League to the executive suite--Helping People Change will give you solid guidance." -- Daniel Goleman, author, Emotional Intelligence; coauthor, Altered Traits

"Not just another book on coaching. Grounded in three decades of research, Helping People Change tells inspiring stories of 'coaching with compassion' to illustrate how the power of our dreams is the key to making positive change. A playbook for helping professionals at all levels in the organization." -- Claudy Jules, Director, People Operations, and Lead, Center of Expertise on Organizational Health and Change, Google

"For desired change to be anything but transitory, individuals must see that change as a positive extension of their ideal selves. In Helping People Change, Boyatzis, Smith, and Van Oosten demonstrate the power of coaching with compassion using compelling examples of individuals tapping into their dreams, growing, and changing their lives. A powerful, practical guide for a parent, friend, or leader in any organization." -- Juan Segovia, Vice President of Operations, Sterigenics

"Boyatzis, Smith, and Van Oosten challenge us to move from a problem-focused approach to change to a vision-based approach that is designed to bring out the best in individuals, groups, and organizations. Helping People Change should be required reading for all of us who want to make positive changes in the world, at work, at home, and in our personal lives." -- Joyce J. Fitzpatrick, Inaugural Director, Marian K. Shaughnessy Nurse Leadership Academy, Frances Payne Bolton School of Nursing, Case Western Reserve University

"What is the secret to creating genuine, lasting change in people's lives? With compelling research, keen insight, and practical guidance, Boyatzis, Smith, and Van Oosten show that great coaching is not about fixing someone's problems but about tapping into their inspiring personal vision. A landmark book." -- Marshall Goldsmith, author, Triggers, Mojo, and What Got You Here Won't Get You There

About the Author

Richard Boyatzis is a Distinguished University Professor at Case Western Reserve University and an adjunct professor at the international ESADE Business School. He is coauthor of Primal Leadership, Resonant Leadership, and Becoming a Resonant Leader (Harvard Business Review Press).

Melvin Smith is a professor and the Faculty Director of Executive Education at the Weatherhead School of Management at Case Western Reserve University.

Ellen Van Oosten is an associate professor at the Weatherhead School of Management and Director of the Coaching Research Lab, which she founded with Richard Boyatzis and Melvin Smith in 2014.